On September 22, 2010 Rutgers University freshman, Tyler Clementi, took the fatal plunge off the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson River between New York and New Jersey. Why would an 18 year old boy with his entire life ahead of him make such a drastic, and definite, decision?
From the outside looking in, I have led the picture-perfect life. I know that somewhere in the world there are children wishing for things I have had the luxury of having my entire life, most likely taking them for granted. And yet with everything that came with my privileged life, growing up was hard. It's still hard. But now, at the ripe age of 22, on the ledge of jumping into 23, I know that as a teenager there were some "crises" that really weren't crises at all. I know that now because I'm older. I'm wiser. I'm more mature. When Clementi learned he was being filmed by his roommate via a webcam having a sexual encounter with another male Rutgers student without his knowing, the aftermath was a crisis. And a legit one at that. Not the type of crisis where you're sending a nasty text about a friend only to realize that you had accidentally sent it to that said-friend. A real crisis. And why wouldn't it be?
When you enter college, you are putting yourself out there. You're on your own. You might be trying to reinvent yourself, to get away from a past in high school you would be lucky to forget, to better yourself or something of the like. High school is hard, and when you move away to a college campus you have the hopes that things are going to be different. I'm sure Tyler Clementi had vivid dreams of what college life would be like. I'm sure it didn't include any of what happened.
Then there's Dharun Ravi's side, Clementi's roommate who arranged the webcam taping. If you ask me, Ravi doesn't get a side. We can all sit here and say that he was eighteen years old, he was immature, he was just messing around. We can make excuses for him but the truth of the matter is that the only thing those excuses do is pave the way for more immature college students to do something similar and also get away with it.
There is another point stemming from this situation as a whole, and that's the issue of heterosexuality vs. homosexuality. I don't know if this is necessarily a matter of homosexual bullying or just bullying in general. If this situation involved heterosexual sex, I would still feel the same way. I would still think that Ravi's barbaric act was disgusting. My question is, would everyone else?
I'm not sure if this unfortunate situation caused such a public outcry because Clementi was with another young man but I certainly hope not. Whether the sexual encounter was with two boys or a boy and a girl, it is still something that was supposed to be private. Why would it have to be different if it involved a boy and a girl? What if the girl involved was president of the celebacy club and suddenly her reputation was turned upside down? Still humiliating. Still a crisis, especially for a teenager.
No matter how strong I feel about this case, and I feel very strongly about it, I do not think that Ravi and his accomplice, so to speak, should be brought up on charges of manslauder. The fact is that Clementi chose to take his own life. There was no gun held to his head, although I'm sure he felt like there was. It is devastating that he made such a final and permanent decision.
It's very upsetting to me because I can truthfully say that I have been there. I have been in the tunnel and was unable to see any trace of light ahead whatsoever. I get it. I get why he felt that he did not have another choice, even though he did. At eighteen you don't see the other choice. You don't see the light. And it's unfortunate. But all of these things add up to Clementi's reaction to Ravi's action. I will admit that this is a very sticky situation because what Ravi did inadvertently caused Clementi's death. I see how it's arguable, I really do. I cannot sit here and call him a murderer though, not by any means. A stupid kid. A punk. A kid with a lotof growing up to do, sure. But not a murderer. I can't say that.
I will be following this case closely, and I encourage others to do so as well. It's unfortunate that Tyler Clementi had to lose his life for such a public outcry against bullying to arise, but I am hoping that whatever happens will ensure that Clementi did not lose his life in vain. I hope for his sake, for his family's sake, that his death will mean something. That it will do something. That it will change something.
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